This is something I was really worried about, especially when I was pregnant with my second daughter. How will I love my first as much as I have been or give her the amount of time she needs? Making intentional time is something I really tried hard to create.
I work full-time as a nurse which even means sometimes I go days without seeing them. I had two girls under the age of two and I’m pregnant with my third, which means I will have three under three. On top of busy schedules and also trying to keep a house in order, etc. It would seem hard to have enough individual time with your kids.
I’m not telling you this to come across as complaining. I’m just telling you the reality of my circumstance and want to share how I try to create intentional time with each of my girls.
The biggest thing to realize is to these little people, their world, and TIME is also little. You could spend 11 hours of “time” with your child and have that time wasted, being on your phone, multitasking, etc. Or, you could spend 30-60 mins FULLY focused on them, giving your child undivided attention and that’ll mean more than the 11 hours spent with them without fully focusing.
The key is undivided attention. Place your phone in another room, let the laundry wait, cut out all outside noise and distractions. Your little one know’s if you are paying attention to them or if your mind is elsewhere.
It hit me one day when I was on the ground with my girls during playtime. I do not even remember what I was looking at on my phone, probably Instagram. But I do remember clear as day my 2-year-old saying “mom, can you look at me”.
Creating intentional time with your child
My heart sank. I felt so bad and was like, wow. She is asking me to LOOK at her and not my phone. I felt so guilty at that moment and like a horrible mom. I am also not writing this saying I am never on my phone anymore when I’m around my kids. But, during playtime and one on one individual time I get with my girls. I intentionally place my phone to the side and focus on them.
Kids are simple, especially when they are little. Activities such as coloring, baking cookies, going on a walk, getting on the ground, and playing. Doing something you know your child will enjoy is going to mean the world to them if you are fully focused.
How to create quality time with your kid creating quality time with your kid
They aren’t going to remember that Monday you took them for ice cream. But, I truly believe creating intentional time is going to instill a feeling they will know and remember “mom was always there”.
Do not overcomplicate this whole mom thing. Do not compare and think so and so has it all together. We are all in this together, just trying to do our best and figure it out each day. You are going to have good days along with bad days. That’s normal.
This is something I have intentionally implemented and see a change in my daughter’s personality when I implement these simple steps.
We may not have control over our schedules all the time. For instance, I have no control over working full-time outside the home. But, I do have control over the TIME I have inside the home. Keep it simple, be happy, present and you will create moments that’ll turn into memories I know we will cherish forever.