Mom’s guilt is real. We all deal with it every day, multiple times. Most likely without even realizing it. One thing I have realized being a mom is. Mom’s guilt is not necessarily bad. In fact, I think it makes you a good mom! It shows you’re concerned and worried for your baby. It shows that you care about their surroundings and the life you’re trying to provide them. So, if you have a lot of mom guilt. Don’t think something’s wrong with you. Something’s actually right and that proves you’re a good mom.
That being said. Often times we can let our mom’s guilt go to the next level. I think mom guilt shocks us all when we are first-time moms. If you asked me before I had a baby if I would care about certain things that I do now. I most likely would laugh and think, no way! This blog post is not a way to vanish mom guilt forever. I personally think that’s impossible. It’s a way to minimize and eliminate unnecessary mom guilt so you can focus more on just being their mom and being the great mother you were meant to be.
So, what to do when mom’s guilt creeps up on you. First off, stop and think. Is this harming my baby in anyway? As long as that’s a no. Try to think…is this worth worrying about.
Let’s say, you’re doing laundry and all your little one wants to do is have you play with them. You feel guilty because you’re responding with “not right now”. To make you and them feel better. Switch up your response. Try saying “as soon as I am done folding these clothes, I will be into play with you. If you want you can help me or continue to play and I’ll be in shortly”. That way, getting the laundry done is still being accomplished and your little one does not think you’re brushing them off.
Here are a few things that you should remind yourself of daily as it fits.
Do my children know I love them?
There will always be dishes to do, laundry to fold, a floor that needs to be swept.
Is this a priority right now, or can it wait?
Is this harming my child in any way?
They will be okay if they refuse the carrot and only eat chicken nuggets (think of what you ate growing up and you’re fine)
It’s okay and normal to get frustrated or have a bad day.
A little screen time is not going to fry their brain.
You’re not a bad mom for dreaming of peeing alone.
Will this matter tomorrow, next week, month, or year? If not….let it go.
You are human and your needs can at times come before theirs. They will be okay!
You cannot pour from an empty cup.
That last line is important. It’s taken me a long time to realize how true that is. Think of the person you were before having babies. What did she love to do? What made her happy and excited to live life? Since you’re a mom now and your time feels completely consumed by your little ones. This does not mean you stop being you.
Find what makes you happy and do that. Because guess what. It’s going to fill your cup, make you happy, and at the end of the day. Your kids want a happy mom, not a stressed mom with a clean house.
I’m not sure if this was helpful or not. Just remember two things.
One, you are the BEST mom for your child.
Secondly, if what you’re worrying about won’t seem to matter in a month or year. Let it go!
Enjoy these days and soak up your little ones being little and needing you. We won’t have this time forever and we certainly won’t remember if we let them watch TV for a minute longer. If they had PB&J for lunch or stayed up late. We will remember the way we felt, stressed or happy. Their sweet smiles and the sound of their laughs. So, stop worrying so much and enjoy your sweet babies Mama.
Savon BodyWorks says
Great content! Keep up the good work!
mamasimplified01 says
Awe thanks so much!